The beginning

So, I've started a blog that will generally comprise of any thoughts or blitherings that I consider worthy of the Internet. It will most likely be forgotten or become tiresome like many of my other web projects, such as a very dusty myspace page or hotmail login name that has lost the humorous ring it possessed a few years ago. Although it may help stabilise my slight problem with journals, where I get several pages into one and then start another because the 'mood' has changed.

It is titled Crystal Enlightenment because a) that is my name and b) that's what I've been trying to do lately. When life starts to feel a bit strange - perhaps the sort of strange that dogs feel when their owners dress them up in little costumes - I try to sit down and reflect. I am very good at this, however it often leaves me feeling ridiculously confused with thoughts floating around like children in a candy store; I do so enjoy musing and I hate losing an idea in the chaos, but it's hard to know where to start in order to make sense of it all. I guess I'm a philosopher that loses the plot sometimes.

I experience both relief and a need for critical evaluation when I manage to get my thoughts out into the world. It's like teaching myself by learning or relaxing by stressing out. I don't really understand it, but at the same time I don't entirely want to. It gets to the point where my thoughts feel thick and heavy like mud and I just stop and wait for them to creep back to me at another time.

In summary, despite how much I analyse and filter my inner musings, what I end up with, this expression of thought and feeling, is probably the purest form of 'me' there is outside the protective barrier that is my skull. And so, knowing this, I now try to use them to both understand myself better and to maybe allow others to get a glimpse of what goes on in here. The important things at any rate. By doing so I hope to become enlightened.

Thinking to understand thinking: philosophy at its greatest. I love it.